While the idea of having my mother-in-law live with us is difficult, the reality of the situation is that we may have no choice.
Our choices in home care are becoming more limited as her mental faculties are slipping farther and farther away.
She is childlike on most days and makes everyday choices that can be dangerous. We have looked into the possibility of having a home health aide stay with her during the hours while we are at work but she seems angry when a stranger is in the house. We can’t risk her hurting herself or others either. We need to make some adjustments to our home to make this new arrangement work. The area that we will be using as an apartment for her was never intended as a space for someone to live so we need to add a bathroom, upgrade the space with its own heating and cooling, and make sure that each exit has an alarmed lock so we know if she is leaving unattended. By making this safe space we can hire someone for minimum care such as meal prep and socialization instead of having a higher level of full on care. If she feels that the person is basically visiting her and having a meal with her she will be less likely to be aggressive. She would hopefully view them as a friend instead of a caregiver. We checked into the options of a separate heating and cooling unit and we found that we can have a mini split unit installed that can be controlled by our phones. My mother-in-law would not have the ability to adjust the temperature on her own so the space would not be too hot or too cold at any given time. I am sure that this will be the best choice for all of us when it is all done.